H is for How the other half live
What
a fabulous gig. Very posh venue. Hampton Manor, Hampton in Arden,
near Solihull. I was the after dinner entertainment for a Supper
Club. I’d already noticed lots of personalised number plates on very posh
cars and 4x4s in the car park. I thought ‘ah yes, this is the Beverly
Hills of Birmingham’. Panicked a bit when I walked into reception and saw loads
of black ties and ball gowns. I was smartly dressed – but not for a black
tie ‘do’. A charming man opened the door for me and said ‘Are you here
for the Marie Curie fundraising dinner?’ Relief! I told him that I
was entertaining the Lapworth Supper Group. He indicated the location of
the private dining room. This involved going through the main reception
area. As I turned the corner, I came face to face with Torvill and Dean.
Bloody Torvill and Dean!! I resisted the temptation to be a sad git and
managed a restrained (well not that restrained) ‘Oh Gosh!’ – and kept going!
Dinner was one of those arty farty meals
with drizzles of this and that in a small artistic pile in the middle of a
fancy shaped large white plate. It WAS delicious, but I couldn’t help
thinking that I might need a couple of crumpets with marmite and cheese when I
got home.
As I’m not into puddings, I nipped out for
a quick cig during the arrival of the small but beautifully formed Crème
Brulee. Parked right in front of the entrance (and blocking quite a few relatively normal vehicles) was the
biggest, most beautiful, most silver, Rolls Royce. I do love cars and was
frightened that I might dribble on it during my intimate perusal.
Gig was lovely. Audience great fun. I thought they might be one of those ‘too
posh to laugh’ types. They weren’t!
By the time I was loading up the car, four
chauffeur-driven vehicles had arrived. A Daimler, two Bentleys, and another
Rolls Royce. Before I left, I couldn’t resist approaching the chauffeur
of the black Daimler – parked nearest to my car. He wound down the window
(did you know that Daimler windows wind down with absolutely no noise at all?!)
and a very well-spoken man (yes he had a chauffeur hat on) said ‘Oh I’m sorry, have
I blocked you in?’ I said ‘No, not at all. I just wanted to
apologise for the fact that my Peugeot 406 estate is making your car look a
little tatty’. We both laughed.
Oh how the other half live!
Was I jealous?
Honestly, hand on heart, I say ‘No’.
Was I jealous?
Honestly, hand on heart, I say ‘No’.
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